


Changes in the Air

by yttan



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Marauders era, One-Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-18
Updated: 2013-12-18
Packaged: 2018-01-05 00:57:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1087694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yttan/pseuds/yttan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus has a request, Lily has a choice, one-shot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Changes in the Air

It was silly, really. Utterly ridiculous. Lily Evans getting tipsy with the Marauders? _Get real!_

Except, in some bizarre twist of fate, it was perfectly real. The Gryffindor common room was filled with the fivesome's roaring laughter. Christmas hols were nearly upon them (in fact the train would leave in the morning – or, rather, later that day). And at this time of night, it left them among the few in the common room. Though Lily would wonder how she had allowed herself to be swept up into this miniature party for some time, she wouldn't deny that it was - well, surprisingly fun.

"You did _not_!" She yelled, head falling back as she was consumed with laughter.

"No, no, I did! The look on Moony's mum's face! Oh, Merlin, I'll never forget it!" James insisted, wiping away tears of laughter with dramatized reverence.

"She still tells that story to house guests, I'll have you know." Remus interjected, waving his butterbeer at James.

"My mum was furious when yours told her, Moony!" Peter said, throwing some Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans at Remus, who laughed and shied away, nearly falling into Lily's lap in the process.

Lily snorted, nicking a toffee as she shook her head.

"Oh, don't lie, Evans, you're impressed." James said, grinning widely and laying on a wink for extra cheesy measure.

Faking a gasp, Lily wrenched her bare wrist into view as though checking the time. "How long did that take, could it perhaps be a record?"

"Oh, har har har." The messy-haired boy said dryly while the other four laughed.

"You've improved, Potter, I'll give you that." Lily said in a gentler tone.

The light in James' eyes would be enough to make most girls blush, but the roses lurking on Lily's cheeks remained unmoved. She did, however, share an amused and embarrassed glance with Remus (remaining oblivious to the sadness that flashed in his eyes).

The fire let out a loud crackle, making everyone acutely aware of the silence that had befallen them.

Lily cleared her throat and unfolded her legs. "Thanks for the butterbeer and sweets, but I think it's time I went on up to bed." she said, already weaving between the plush couch and chairs.

There was a chorus of good nights (followed by an almost impressive innuendo courtesy of Sirius, which Lily rolled her eyes at).

In the morning, when she came down dressed and ready for some food, she found the foursome still in front of the fire, seemingly unmoved, snoring away. Lily chuckled quietly, moving around the couch for a better view of the disorderly group. James was drooling on Sirius' leg and Peter was curled up half under a table. Remus had the sense to find a pillow to hug.

Just as Lily was contemplating what to do - wake them up? let them sleep? more specifically, what manner should she do either option? neon mustaches for everyone was always amusing but she thought she could do better - when Remus twitched and blearily opened an eye.

"Lily, what're you doing in our dormitory?" He asked, voice cracking and slurring all over the place.

She merely raised her eyebrows in amusement and waited for realization to dawn on him. 

"Oh." He said calmly once he had raised his head to look around. "That makes sense."

"How long did you lot last without me to keep you awake?" Lily teased, offering a hand to help Remus up. He mumbled a thank you as he heaved himself up, dropping her hand quickly.

"Not long, I imagine." He seemed to contemplate where he should go now that he was standing, taking one very purposeful step before collapsing in a heap on the couch. Lily took up residence next to him.

"I was surprised you joined us last night. Pleasantly so, but surprised." Remus looked over at her through his sleep-crusted eyes and mussed hair.

"I was rather surprised myself." She murmured, gaze unconsciously finding James. She meant what she had said last night - he had grown from the obnoxious git she once knew to a slightly less annoying prat. If she wasn't so dead set against him, she might even find herself surprised by how he'd matured - and maybe the occasional adorable moment.

But those were ridiculous thoughts. Even so, she might have done a better job hiding those ridiculous thoughts from her face had she realized how intently Remus was suddenly looking at her.

"Lily, may I ask you something?" He asked abruptly.

Angling herself back toward him she said, "Of course, Remus."

"Are you thinking about giving James a chance?"

Lily scoffed, moving her hand to rake through her hair. "I - of course not. Well… no, no. That would be…" She huffed again, green eyes flicking across every possible distraction in the room before finally settling on James. Sighing, she raised her gaze to Remus at last. "Well, yes, I suppose the thought has occurred to me."

"You should." He encouraged quietly, eyes casting down to his knees. He seemed to be debating something, and Lily opened her mouth to say something before realizing she didn't know what _to_ say - she cleared her throat quietly instead.

"I wondered if I might do something. Before you give him that chance, I mean." He was still looking at his knees rather intently, but a new fiery determination had entered his eyes.

Lily waved her hand around a bit, a rather shrug-like gesture, as if unsure quite what to do with such a vague request. "Is it life-threatening?" Lily teased, perplexed by Remus's odd demeanor.

"I certainly hope not." He replied, a chuckle lingering about his tone. He cleared his throat, turning to properly face her - Lily mirrored his motion by a fraction. 

His expression was one of nervous resolve. When he spoke, though his voice was somewhat breathy with nerves, he did not stutter, "I was wondering if I could, perhaps… kiss you?"

Lily's eyes widened into saucers, her jaw going slack. The idea that Remus liked her _like that_ seemed perfectly daft - his best friend had been chasing after her for six years, after all. Though, perhaps, as Lily thought about it… it made sense. A bittersweet sort of sense.

"Remus…" Lily started, trailing off as she remained lost for words. Her face was shifting from shock to understanding and back around to a softer, imploring confusion. 

He laughed, a murky, low sound that barely registered. "A dramatic request, I know." He swallowed hard, looking over at James with veiled guilt. "I've watched James trot after you like a lovestruck puppy since first year, and at first I thought it was stupid… but six years? Lily, if you give him a chance you might be shocked to find he knows more about you than you might even realize - I daresay he truly loves you."

If his words weren't enough to pin Lily down to her seat, his eyes which now turned to her certainly did. "The only problem for me, you see, is that he might not be the only one." He finished, tone thick with effort to keep is voice steady.

"But I don't want to get in the way of that," he added hastily, "I just didn't want to be the fool of a best friend who sat idly by, slowly growing more bitter by the day that I never said anything…" He trailed off, and Lily realized his breathing was getting rapid. It occurred to her that she should say something.

"I… I don't really know what to say," she finally breathed. Well, it was _something_.

Remus let out a short, nervous laugh. "Yes, well. That wasn't quite how I imagined it going. It seemed rude to just grab you and kiss you without… _explaining_ , I suppose."

Lily couldn't help but wonder if James would ask before kissing her. There'd been an incident in fourth year where he'd attempted to steal a kiss - Lily wasn't ashamed of the satisfaction she felt over the red mark on his cheek that day. James deserved it then, but had he really changed enough for her to consider not slapping him now? More importantly, and pressingly, how did she feel about Remus?

"I won't lie, I think we could be good together." She finally blurted. His eyebrows shot up; he'd half expected her to stand up and leave without a word. Certainly not that. A lopsided grin overtook his face.

"Oh, shush, I'm not saying _let's go steady_ , I just… we're compatible, if you will."

The momentary silence between the was soft. Rife with the potential for something great. "Can I take that as a yes?" Remus mumbled shyly, ducking his head. His eyes seemed to be avoiding her.

"Yes." Lily said. Perfectly simple, but not perfectly controlled. Her voice hitched in her throat, and her breath came out in a turbulent rush.

Remus looked as though he'd been electrocuted his head jolted to look at her so quickly. Lily laughed, quickly muffling the sound under her palm. With a roll of her eyes, she cupped her hand to her friend's jaw and pulled him in.

It was innocent. So chaste and gentle Lily could feel a knot tangling itself in her chest. She might not know what she felt for whom, but she did know it was wrong to experiment with said unsorted feelings for two people with the other knocked out not ten feet away.

Remus undoubtedly felt her guilt, and a change took over. With Lily fading into a puddle of conflicting emotion, he came at her like a tidal wave to sweep her up with him. If she wasn't sure how she felt, he'd at least make damn sure she knew how he was feeling. One hand desperately (but carefully - always so carefully) clutched into her titian hair while the other brushed over her cheek. The closer proximity brought heat, and before Lily knew it she was throwing herself back into the kiss with a whole new fervor.

When they parted, each trying to keep their pants quiet, Lily could hardly look at Remus. Her eyes dodged from her hand on his shoulder to the column of his neck - careful to avoid his ruddy lips. Eventually she settled for burying her face against his clavicle.

"Oh," she mumbled as they both sank back into the cushions.

"Yeah." he breathed, threading his fingers through her hair like he was scared contact was necessary to maintain this reality.

"I used to wonder if you might have had a crush on me, but…" she trailed off, not even sure what she intended to say.

Remus gave a rueful laugh. "Oh, yeah. Third year, working on that Magical Creatures thing together? I could barely breathe when you were around. I was always surprised you didn't notice. Or James, for that matter."

At the mention of his name, they both locked eyes on the sleeping boy. He was still happily oblivious, cuddling with Sirius' leg. They probably would have laughed if they weren't having such an emotional upheaval.

Lily was trying to paddle her way through vague notions of what could be. There was James, who sawed on her last nerve like no other could - but she knew he had a decent heart. A relationship without friction would yield no fire, and it was fire she craved. She'd always been told not to tempt an open flame, but maybe if she let James in he would somehow know how to balance her out. He'd never stop enraging her from time to time, she knew that, but maybe it could take on a new form. A passionate form. Maybe the embers of the possibility were already burning a hole in her chest.

And then there was Remus. To an a casual observer he was a mellow individual, a stickler for the rules among a den of tricksters. But Lily knew better, she saw the near animal magnetism and raw intellect lurking in his eyes. In his kiss. He held his more feral natures in, but they existed. They'd never had a real fight - quite the contrast from her relationship with James - but Lily was sure that if they did there would be no working to shift their rage into passion. Between the cracks of a mild-mannered life, it could consume them. Mixed with secrets, it could destroy them.

And there were such secrets with Remus. It wasn't just plotting with the Marauders, there was more. Lily maintained the illusion of ignorance, but she knew. Remus was infected: a werewolf. It never changed her view of him - if anything it made her admire his strength. Lycanthropy was not an easy thing to live with, nor would Lily ever suspect it an easy subject for them to talk about.

James? He would be an open book if only she asked to flip through the pages. 

Silence reigned as these thoughts zipped through her mind faster than she could make sense of them. Her head was chaos, and she almost couldn't bear the thought of having to sift through and make a choice — that is, if she wanted to use her head. The clever part of herself. The logical part. The part that always should stay in control. Oh, but what was the sense of following her heart? It was just as indecisive as her thoughts.

Suddenly, there was a loud crack and crash.

Peter had woken up, and still too lethargic to realize he wasn't in bed, had sat up, stretched, and knocked a chair over. A series of yelps immediately followed the bang. Peter, in pain and confusion with a hand nursing his throbbing arm. James and Sirius both made congested sounds of groggy surprise - and then comically pitchy sounds when James accidentally hit Sirius in the crotch and he launched a sluggish retaliatory attack. As the pair of boys flew at each other in mock-fight, Lily and Remus flew apart.

If they looked at all guilty, the other three didn't take notice.

"Waddurzoing?" Sirius slurred, blinking around as though the sunlight were a personal attack on him.

"Lily! Back to party with us? Brilliant!" James exclaimed, seemingly cheered out of his stupor by her presence.

"Uh - um," Lily stuttered, taking in a quick breath to calm her frazzled brain and fix a convincingly taunting smile upon her face, "Don't be silly, I was just discussing with Remus the best prank to play on you sleeping beauties."

Glancing at Remus with wide eyes (and satisfied with the spark of understanding there; he'd keep this secret), she chuckled and stood. "Suppose now you're up, I'll go get some breakfast. See you down there?" Try as she might to keep her expression and body language casual, she couldn't quite manage to keep a tremble out of her voice as she left the common room. 

Much later, when Lily accepted James' invitation to Hogsmeade (much to his shock - she thought he looked like he was about to faint) she didn't wonder. No, no. She didn't wonder about the sandy haired boy with sad eyes and a scarred heart. Like Remus had said: he didn't want to interfere (how he knew what he was meddling in, she couldn't bear to guess). Lily liked to think she got it by then, what roles they played to each other. That sometimes a heart needs fire - not just the flare of a match nursed to light with fear of singed fingertips and a painful end, but the roar of a mutual bonfire kept permanently ablaze.


End file.
